Now, being in Korea, us Western world folks are called Waygooks to the locals. So I will introduce what I’ve been telling people about, the Waygookin’ Smash. Now I haven’t thought this up all on my own, I first learned about it from a guy in Japan, but they called it the Gaijin Smash.
So what is it? In Korea, imagine me driving a car down the highway well over the speed limit. I get pulled over. The cop comes up to my window to give me the massive ticket. But wait, I don’t understand him. I know what I did wrong and that I’m getting a ticket, but, I’m going to act like I don’t. I’ll say the common Korean words I know like ‘Thank You’ and ‘Hello’, ‘Nice to meet you’ and then eventually, this Korean officer will get frustrated, realize it’s not worth his time, and off on my merry way I go, no ticket…WAYGOOKIN’ SMASH! It basically means, is there a rule your trying to enforce? Waygookin’ Smash! I flout your silly non-western rule.
This particular situation has never happened to me, but it has to other people. People that speak perfect Korean. But these Waygooks conveniently forget it when they need it. For me, it’s things like “Oh, there’s a teachers workshop on Sexual Harassment the afternoon we have off? But I won’t understand anything! (I’d understand more then you think). Waygookin’ Smash! I don’t have to go.
I did sign up to work here and live here, but in no way will I ever fit in like a Korean does. So, in that regard, I think it’s somewhat okay to use my Waygookin’ness like this. But, I don’t want to be that dickhead that abuses it. I may mess with the rules a little bit, but I try daily not to offend anyone or make their lives harder. It is Korean society and their non-confrontal ways that make this possible. If someone was to say “Fuck off whitey” every time I did something, Waygookin’ Smash wouldn’t be possible. I’m used to being forward and asking for what I want where I come from. If I don’t like something, you’ll hear about it. Here, especially to a Waygook, they won’t say too much. WAYGOOKIN’ SMASH!