After my 5 day weekend, here are some things to think about:
The President who has arguably the most important job in the world has nothing on his desk but a phone and a pen. I have a ridiculous job and it looks like the stationary store threw up in my little cubicle.
In my classroom, if the ceiling fan could hold my body weight, I would never ever be bored again at work.
“If you work hard all of your dreams will come true.” Impossible. My dream is to never work hard.
Bad decisions make good stories.
A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
Most days at school, I don’t know when it will strike.. but there is a point everyday when I decide I will do no more work at all. Friday’s it’s usually 9:04am.
I like the music in my iTunes. Except when I put on shuffle. Then, maybe 1 in 15.
School zones are about 20km/hr? Mmm mm… good cruisin’ speed for pedophiles.
How often do you use MS word on a document, swear you made no changes, and it asks if you would like to “Save Changes”?
Stepping in water barefoot? Fine. In socks? Day is ruined.
It may be surprsing to know that hippos are the cause of more deaths in the wild than any other animal, but you can’t say you weren’t warned just how hungry they were.
What’s worse then that point in an argument when you realize your wrong?
With a real job, I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
I wore a tie to work today, but haven’t shaved for approximately 6 days. I figure they cancel each other out?