This happened back in May of 2006, on a Friday night.
I had just moved out to Western Canada the week before to look for a new job on the oil rigs. This was a way to make the big bucks. I was 19 years old and dumber then a stick.
I got a job the second week I was there in Grande Prairie, and I was pretty excited about it. So that Friday, my pal who was helping me out, Josh Klug and I were getting gas at a random station. Across the lot, some dude was staring at me. I looked at him, and he looked sort of familiar. Shit, it was Evan Winters. We went to high school together for four years, played football together, etc etc.
So after jumping around with joy like school girls for a bit, we decided we’d grab some drinks that night. I told him I hadn’t been paid yet and he said it was fine, he’ll get me this time. He was doing scaffolding for a mill and made great money. We met at the hotel my company had put me up in, and had a few beers. Then we went to this place called the Stampede Corral.
This was up in Northern Alberta, which is basically a rough cowboy country. Young, uneducated men all making far too much money. This was your typical country bar, with cowboy hats, cowboy boots and everything else. Evan had my drinks, and man did he buy me drinks. I wasn’t dry for a second, with beers and tequilas always coming.
We met a group of his friends later in the night, and one girl took a liking to me. So, she invited me to an after party sort of thing they were having at her friends place. A hot girl I just met? Why wouldn’t I go?? Evan disappeared someplace and I took off with said girl and her friends. She said they lived a bit out of town, but no problem. The girl driving had a brand new car, one of those small two door Chevy’s, and she was pretty proud of it.
I got in the back and we took off. Things are somewhat blurry at this point for me. But, we drove South West (we took the same road to the rig) and down into the hilly, curvy mountain roads. This was basically the start of the rockies. After driving down these roads and this girl driving too fast, those tequilas were not sitting pretty. I had my head down in my lap, just trying to wait it out. The girl driving said if I had to puke, let her know and she would pull over.
Finally, I had to puke. She pulled over, and as I was climbing over the seat to get out, it happened. I puked on the back of the drivers seat AND on the driver. I ended up falling out of the car, picking myself up and puking more on the side of the road. One of the high points in my life I guess. After I was done, I picked my head up and turned around. Who was there? The driver, and she was not happy.
“You asshole! Fuck you, you stupid dick!” or something like that she yelled at me. Now, being me, I would not accept this. “Fuck you, you whore”, and I laid back into her. What she did next surprised me pretty good. She laughed and said, “No, Fuck you, I’m leaving.” Just like that, she got back into her car and drove away.
3 in the morning, side of the highway, middle of nowhere in the mountains of Alberta. And I was drunk. I knew there were grizzlies in the area, but I figured I could fight a bear that night. No problem though, Josh was at home with his car. He could save me, I’d pay him $200 to pick me up. I whipped out my phone and started dialling. Then, it died. NO. I turned it on again, but it died. NO. I didn’t have his number stored in my brain, either. Now I was worried I was going to die.
There was a light at the top of this long as hill I was standing on, so I had to get walking. I don’t know how long it took me to get up there, but it sucked. Well, turns out on top that hill was a Weyerhaeuser paper mill, and it was huge. I’m saved! I walked up the long road to the mill and into the front office. It was strange, because everything was on (computers, etc) but nobody was there. It was also close to 4 am then. I went into the mill part to find someone, and after walking around for 20 minutes, I found a young guy working the night shift. I told him the story of how I got there, he laughed and told me to wait until 6am in the cafeteria and he’d drive me home. Done.
I got into the cafeteria and the moment I sat down, I passed out. Couldn’t help it. I woke up, and there was an entire crew of men sitting around me, all eating their lunch. I was so, so, so confused. This old guy beside me (in his 50’s with a big moustache) told me I’d be best off going out and sitting by the road, and someone would pick me up. I walked out of there, still wearing my bar clothes, around the 50 men all wearing cover-alls.
Outside, some lady was dropping her boyfriend off at work, and offered me a ride, saying it looked like I had a rough night. She only brought me to the first intersection in town and I had to get a taxi from there, but whatever. I rolled into my hotel room at 8am, alive.