“A notice to travelers: I do not at all recommend this place. It is extremely shady and the owner is out to scam you. I really advise you find another place to stay”
– John Britton
After spending a few days in Bangkok (and being so intoxicated I missed a flight down South) I finally made my way to Koh Samui in the South of Thailand. I was meeting Nicole from here in Samcheok. She told me the bungalows she was at, so I just had to find my way there. After renting my bike I finally found it, and all was good. It was a beautiful place, charging I think about $9 a night for your own personal bungalow literally 30 yards from the ocean – amazing.
We only stayed for a night before heading to the islands of Koh Tao and Koh Phagnan.
I parted ways with Nicole on Koh Tao and had to head back to Bangkok to get my flight. That meant 2 nights back on Koh Samui. I decided to go back to Silent Bungalows because it was nice, quiet and cheap (a nice French girl bathed naked on the beach for those two days as well).
It was all good, and I had to get back to the mainland for my flight the next morning. So I talked to the owner of this place to arrange the boat and taxi to the airport. He made it simple: pay him 800 Baht and he will take care of everything. Great, I thought. He said he would put me on the boat, then when I arrived on the mainland his good friend will be waiting with his taxi, all paid for. The reason I believed him is that he had a tourist office set up in his place, looking official and shit.
I had to take the night boat because my flight was in the morning, so I got to the port, payed the all of a sudden very nervous man, and that was that. He went on to the boat, talked with the guy and said “yeah, it’s all good”. My friend will be waiting (gave me his card) and said to take care. Off he went in his jeep.
About 20 minutes into this boat ride, I was approached by a man: “Your ticket, sir”. Uhhh, I already paid. He shook his head no, and said I needed a ticket. I said the man paid! He left me alone. Let them figure it out I thought. 5 minutes later he was back with two of the staff of the ship (one was 6’3 and huge) and said he wanted the money. Fuck. There goes 500 baht and most of the money I had left (I lost my credit card earlier…).
Obviously the boat got there and there was no taxi waiting for me. The man screwed me. Took my money’s and fucked me. I was so, so angry. Luckily I stumbled upon two young British guys who were in almost the same deal, we split a cab and it left me a few dollars for my way home.
So, why am I telling you this story now? Well, I received this letter in the mail today:
Here’s what the letter says:
Mr. Britton Sir.
In July, we had the pleasure of you staying at Silent Beach Bungalow. Thank you for this pleasure. Our resort is very beautiful, we have fan and AC room for our guest with hot shower. I hope you enjoyed the absolutely still time at Maenam Koh Samui.
My regret to tell you, is taxi and boat from Koh Samui. We did not have money for payment. 800 baht is a lot of money, many guest know my bungalow and my service good. You very special guest you come two time. I want you remember 800 baht you not pay, please remember. I take visa or check by calling or address. Please, you can call me 081 415 1806. I enclose my card for your convenient. Maybe you come three time? I know I hear you soon.
HE SAYS I OWE HIM MONEY!?!??!??!!??!?! ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING ME!?!?
I read this right after I got in form the gym, and I was so, so fucking pissed. I was about to book a flight back there to burn that place down. SO SO MAD. I had to call Nicole to tell her this shit. I needed to tell someone. I read it out to her, and she wouldn’t stop laughing. Laughing and laughing. She wrote it, and she got me good. DAMNIT.
I give her credit for the stupid looking envelope as well as taking the time to print out what looks like an authentic Thai stamp. Shit.